Updated: Feb 18, 2021
The past year has radically reshaped the ways we share intimacy with others and ourselves. We are experiencing connection through screens with no physical touch, warmth or nonverbal body cues. Stress has also contributed to lack of intimacy with our partners at home. Although it might not seem like a priority right now, our sexual wellness affects us more than you’d think. Sexual energy is life force energy and can affect our creativity, our mood and even our skin. Keep reading for 5 ways to reconnect with and harness your sexual power.
Sensual Reconnection. First, let's ignite our senses. Sensuality does not have to be sexual, but it can help us to become more in tune with our bodies. Sex and intimacy expert and author of “The Wild Woman's Way”, Michaela Boehm advises us to heighten our senses around life’s daily pleasures: “The feeling of your hair brushing across your neck, the sensation of fabric swishing around your hips, a delicious bite of chocolate, a sip of tea, or the smell of fresh flowers each can inform your senses and connect you with the perception of pleasure. Over time, these small sensual perceptions train the body to be more aware and alive for sensual connection with a partner and ourselves.”
Better Communication. Sex will begin to feel more routine and less passionate when there is lack of communication. Be open with yourself and your partner and have a conversation about what sex and intimacy means to you. Start by having sexual awareness with yourself by answering these questions offered by a sex therapy expert:
When you look in a mirror what does your reflection reveal to you?
What obstacles do you identify as getting in the way of you feeling sexually positive?
Has past experience framed who you are in your sexual self? Have you experienced trauma? Sexual, physical or emotional?
What are the best aspects of your personality? What gets in the way of being the best you?
What level of intimacy do you on average have while having sex? Are you closed every time, most of the time, etc.?
Emotional connection before sex Is it important to you or not? Is it difficult for you, yet it’s something you want?
Reflect on your answers, and now open up a conversation with you partner about what you may need and want in the bedroom.
Exploration. Shame around sex, especially for woman, has lead us to embarrassed or afraid to speak out our innermost curiosities and desires. Challenge yourself to break down those barriers and fear of judgement and invite an open mind into your sexual experiences. Bondage, foreplay and inviting a third partner can be exciting possibilities to explore within your sex life.
Masturbation. How can you guide a partner (or partners) to pleasure you until you know how to yourself? Plus, it's great for your skin! In a study conducted by a sexual wellness brand, they found that women who pleasure themselves at least three times per week experienced improved firmness, elasticity and radiance of the skin. Skincare expert Dr. Ava Shamban explains the link between the big O and our skin, "Orgasms increase your body's levels of estrogen, which contributes to healthy skin from the inside out. Estrogen makes skin thicker and helps maintain collagen levels, which results in more radiant, supple, wrinkle-resistant and firmer skin, especially as we age.”
Energy orgasms. Can you imagine a full body orgasm that lasts for hours? An orgasm without physical touch? These are experiences achieved through Tantric sex and spiritual cultivation of sexual energy. Men and women learn to use their breath to conserve and expand their sexual energy and climax. This may seem like a mystical, fantasy experience but its’ something practiced and shared by many sexual practitioners and experts. Holistic sex and relationship couch, Kim Amami explains what an extended orgasm feels like:
“Imagine being perched on the edge of orgasm all night. Or day. You can ride this edge for as long and as deeply as you can breathe. Although this might sound torturous to some (a good kind of torture), trust me, it’s pure euphoria. By channeling your sexual energy consciously in your body, that flow spreads into all that you do. You feel revitalized, connected, and tuned into the rhythms of life.”
Read more about how to have an energy orgasms here.
We wish you a sexual liberating and explorative month. Set the mood for your next steamy night with an SSB hand poured candle, included with every purchase during the month of February.